How to Propose: The AJC Proposal Guide

From old fashioned formalities and knowing when it's right to choosing your outfit, we explore the key considerations when planning your perfect proposal.

A proposal is one of the few moments in life you get to plan in advance, and one you will both remember for ever. Here is our guide, drawn from the many couples we have helped, from choosing the ring to the moment itself.

Before you begin

Be sure. It sounds obvious, but it matters most: be certain this is the person you want to spend your life with, and that you both want the same things.

It takes two. Many couples now talk about marriage long before a proposal. That doesn’t spoil the surprise; the when and how can still be yours.

Asking permission. Asking a partner’s family for their blessing is an old tradition. Many people still like to, as a courtesy; others prefer not to. Do what feels right for your partner and their family.

Choosing the ring

Their style. Look at the jewellery your partner already wears: yellow gold or white metal, delicate or bold, classic or unusual. Their friends may help.

The stone. A diamond is traditional, but sapphires, emeralds and rubies all have a long history. See our guide to antique sapphire engagement rings.

Why antique? An antique ring is individual, beautifully hand-made, and needs nothing new to be mined; we explain more in why antique diamonds are the ethical choice.

Buy wisely. Buy from a reputable dealer, understand the returns policy, and insure the ring as soon as you have it.

Finding the ring size in secret

Borrow a ring. Take a ring your partner wears, ideally on the same finger, and we can measure it. A ring from another finger or the other hand is a useful guide.

Trace it. If you can’t take it away, press it into a bar of soap or trace the inside on paper.

Ask a friend. A trusted friend can often find out without raising suspicion.

Don’t worry. If you are not sure, choose a ring that can be resized; we offer free ring sizing, so it can be adjusted after the proposal.

Don’t panic about the size. Get it roughly right, and we’ll make it perfect afterwards. What matters on the day is the ring and the question.
Olly Gerrish, AJC Founder

Planning the moment

Keep them guessing, but don’t wait for ever. A little surprise is wonderful; months of hints are not.

Timing. Choose a moment when neither of you is rushed or stressed. Christmas and New Year are among the most popular times of year to propose.

Where. Somewhere that means something to you both: where you met, a favourite walk, a special restaurant, or simply at home.

How. Grand gestures suit some people; others would hate an audience. Plan the proposal your partner would love, not the one that would look best on social media.

Hiding the ring

Ring boxes are bulky. Keep the ring in a small pouch in an inside pocket, and transfer it to its box at the last minute. Hide it at home somewhere your partner never looks, a toolbox or the back of a sock drawer, and at a restaurant, ask the staff to help rather than hiding it in food, which risks it being swallowed or lost.

What to say

Keep it simple and honest. Say why you love them and what you want your life together to be, then ask the question. You don’t need a speech; a few sincere words are better than a performance.

The big moment

Dress for the occasion, turn your phone off, and take a breath. Whatever happens, it will be yours. And if the ring needs resizing afterwards, bring it to us.

Our view

The best proposals are personal, unhurried and sincere, and the best rings are the ones chosen with real thought. If you would like help choosing, come and see us at the Townhouse; we are very good at keeping secrets.

Early 20th Century 18ct Gold, Rectangular Cut Emerald & Diamond Oval Cluster Ring

Why antique? An antique ring is individual, beautifully hand-made, and needs nothing new to be mined; we explain more in why antique diamonds are the ethical choice.

Don’t panic about the size. Get it roughly right, and we’ll make it perfect afterwards. What matters on the day is the ring and the question.
Olly Gerrish, AJC Founder